Does anyone recognize this title? I received this book when I was 12 or 13 years old for hanukah. Side note, I wasn’t going to divulge that I was raised Jewish, but cat is out of the bag. If you are a neo-nazi or just an old fashioned, run of the mill anti-semite move along please. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Anyways, I received this from my Dad and his girlfriend at the time. My Dad told me awkwardly that I should read the book and if I had any questions to ask his girlfriend. I think that is the closest I had to getting the “birds and the bees” talk from a parent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You may be wondering, where was your mom in all of this? She died when I was 11 years old. Of cancer. Hers was ovarian. That is a blog for another day, though. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Back to this cringe-inducing book. I don’t remember what I said when I received this. I do remember the embarrassment I felt as well as the discomfort. Ooh gross. I don’t want to discuss this stuff with anyone! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even to this day, the title just makes me cringe. Bleh. Anyways, at the time, I moved on to the presents I actually wanted. Steve Madden slippers with paw prints on them is the only gift I remember getting that year. I know I got about eight, though. Did I mention that I have lived quite a charmed and privileged life, yet? Well, I have. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I hid that book in my closet. I think I dared to maybe look at it once or twice. Even in the privacy of my bedroom I felt ashamed for looking at it. I don’t know how I had ingrained such shame and hatred for my body at such a young age, but there it is. I think it is probably society’s fault – yes – let’s blame society! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Anyways, dear reader, there is a point to this little anecdote I promise! The point is I used to hate my body. Many of my female readers (and male readers too) I’m sure can relate to this. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
When I was an adolescent I was too skinny and I didn’t have boobs! Then when I went through puberty (later than everyone else I might add) I wasn’t thin enough anymore! I never knew the right clothes to wear, but not for lack of trying! The clothes I did wear never seemed to fit my body right the way they did on seemingly every other human. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My hair was too frizzy. My arms too hairy. In high school I was on a date with a boy; we were sitting on a bench in the center of town (we called it The Center – how clever!) and he said in exclamation – wow, your arms are hairier than mine! I could have died. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’ve straightened my hair. Bleached my arm hair. Shaved my legs. Waxed my brows. The list goes on and on. I’ve tried to exert control over my body to get it to submit to my will. Spoiler alert, it did not comply. In the loudest way possible, it did not comply. I got the BRCA-1 mutation and breast cancer at 30 to boot. While pregnant with my first child, I might add. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The funny thing is, is that I’m starting to actually appreciate my body and not feel shame or hatred towards it. Now, when I look in the mirror I see a bad-ass part-cyborg warrior. It helps that my hair is growing back and that I have lost all of the baby weight. My body has housed and birthed a human being and then two weeks later sustained toxic insult after insult in the form of chemotherapy. I’ve been sliced open to birth my child and hacked at to remove my deadly breasts. I’ve had radiation beams targeted at my chest to kill any remaining, rogue, cancer cells.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Spoiler alert, it didn’t work and I am now living (and I might go as far to say thriving?) with stage 4 breast cancer. It helps that the things I used to be so self-conscious about aren’t as noticeable now. For instance, my arms aren’t as hairy after the chemo. Thanks chemo! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I think the big change now, though, is I am less harsh on myself and my appearance. When your husband has seen your head buzzed and then watched that hair fall out, making you look like a balding middle aged man, you are forced to let go of some vanity. You also realize that your husband must love you for more than just your looks. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I highly recommend it. Not the cancer or chemo part. But the relinquishing of some vanity. Not all, but just some. Maybe just hate your body and appearance a little less. I bet you are all more beautiful than you give yourselves credit for. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Until next time. Follow me on Twitter @reluctantoptim. Love and light to you all. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Does anyone recognize this title? I received this book when I was 12 or 13 years old for hanukah. Side note, I wasn’t going to divulge that I was raised Jewish, but cat is out of the bag. If you are a neo-nazi or just an old fashioned, run of the mill anti-semite move along … Continue reading Our Bodies Ourselves<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":164157466,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_coblocks_attr":"","_coblocks_dimensions":"","_coblocks_responsive_height":"","_coblocks_accordion_ie_support":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-37","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thereluctanteternaloptimist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thereluctanteternaloptimist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thereluctanteternaloptimist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thereluctanteternaloptimist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/164157466"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thereluctanteternaloptimist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=37"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/thereluctanteternaloptimist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":39,"href":"https:\/\/thereluctanteternaloptimist.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37\/revisions\/39"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thereluctanteternaloptimist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=37"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thereluctanteternaloptimist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=37"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thereluctanteternaloptimist.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=37"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}